Six pack of beer? Check.
Chips? Check.
Laptop? Check.
Dog sleeping on the couch next to me? Check.
 
Looks like I have everything I need. I'd rather have Gina Carano here next to me on the couch instead of the dog, but that's not happening any time soon unfortunately. Anyway, without further ado, here's my running diary of Strikeforce: Carano vs. Cyborg.
 
10:30: Opening montage of Carano and Cyborg. What's with the helicopter and amusement park training? Weird.
 
10:35: Gus Johnson is wearing a pink shirt under the suit. Pretty brave fashion statement for someone calling a MMA fight.
 
10:38: Still with the braces Frank Shamrock? I'm not going to lie. It's kind of distracting watching some guy with a mouth full of metal talking about MMA. What would happen if someone popped him in the mouth? What a mess that would be.
 
10:40: First up is Fabricio Wedrum and Mike Kyle. This should be a nice heavyweight bout. Wait, they're already in the cage? I feel deprived. I always look forward to the walkout music and ridiculous outfits. It's almost like watching the auditions on American Idol. I like seeing the train wrecks. Oh well.
 
10:43: I just noticed that Werdum has no cauliflower ears. That seems kind of odd for a BJJ world champ.
 
10:45: Well, that didn't last long. Kyle taps out from a guillotine in barely over a minute and a half. Geez. Kyle should have seen that coming.
 
10:49: I like the stats Showtime shows after the fight. Pretty cool.  Werdum showcasing his English speaking skills in the octagon. I think he should stick to BJJ.
 
10:51: Jenn Brown interviewing Gina Carano. My Lord. Does this woman ever NOT look good? She's about to headline an MMA fight and she still looks like a supermodel. Randy Couture is also being interviewed. His ears look like something out of a horror movie. I think the left one may be alive. Kinda' like that thing in that dude's stomach in Total Recall.
 
10:55: Mitsuhiro Ishida coming out with a cape. Who wears capes these days? Is he a fighter or Count Chocula?
 
10:57: Gilbert Melendez coming out now. Frank Shamrock says the key to Melendez winning is the triangle choke. Really? Why the triangle? Why not an arm bar or choke. I just found that odd.
 
11:01: Is it just me or does Herb Dean look a little like Donovan McNabb?
 
11:02: Ishida was just described as having feline quickness. Not sure if that's really a compliment or not. That's like calling someone a pussy.
 
11:03: Crowd starts booing as Ishida is doing nothing but dancing around. I don't blame them. This fight is kinda' boring so far.
 
11:07: A Hershel Walker sighting! Former New Jersey General great! Walker is training in MMA? How old is this guy? Shouldn't he be playing golf and moving to Florida by now?
 
11:14: My dog farts just as Round Three begins. Whew! No more table food for her.
 
11:18: The ref stops the fight after Ishida takes a beating on the ground. This fight wasn't even close. I haven't seen a beating that bad since I went through my divorce.
 
11:22: Frank Shamrock says Gilbert literally beat the shit of Ishida. Uh, I hope that's not true. I can handle seeing blood in the octagon. Not sure I can handle seeing poo.
 
11:24: Jenn Brown interviewing Cyborg now. Is it a rule that female fighters must have their hair in cornrows? Cyborg is prettier than people give her credit for. Don't get me wrong. I'm still terrified of her.
 
11:28: Gegard Mousasi's nickname is "The Dream Catcher"? Is there a LESS fear inducing nickname than "The Dream Catcher"?. Might as well be "Fuzzy Bunny Slippers".
 
11:30: Babalu Sobral enters the octagon. This guy looks like he just walked off the set of Oz.
 
11:36: Wow. Mousasi just beat the hell out of Sobral in a few seconds. If nothing else, I'll remember this night as the night Mousasi became a superstar. I don't think thus guy even broke a sweat.
 
11:41: Mousasi doing the post-fight interview. Am I the only one who wants to see an English speaking competition between Mousasi and Werdum?
 
11:43: Jake Shields being interviewed now. I love seeing the clip of the guillotine choke he defeated Lawler with. Love me some BJJ. I realize it's not the sexiest move. But the basics are what win fights and Shields has the basics down pat.
 
11:46: Cyborg vs. Carano should be up next. Showtime keeps plugging all their future fights though and it's taking forever. Come on already! Lets get this thing moving along.
 
11:52: Cyborg finally enters the cage. Why is she wearing headphones? Isn't the music blasting over the loudspeakers enough? Holy cow. This woman is a specimen. If Cyborg weighs 145 lbs. then I'm the Pope. No way she's that light. She could play linebacker for the Giants. In fact, I think they may be looking.
 
11:55: Carano comes out now. This woman is gorgeous. Yowzers. I really hope Cyborg doesn't do anything to that face. That would be a real shame. Whoa! Randy Couture just slapped her on the ass. I wish I was Randy Couture's hand right now.
 
12:06: Controversial decision. Fight stops as the bell sounds. I hope it's over. Carano was getting destroyed. Cyborg is a total beast. I don't know how anyone is ever going to beat her.
 
Well that raps up another Strikeforce event. Overall it wasn't a bad show. None of the fights went the distance and we got to see some nice submissions and KO's. Looking forward to seeing Fedor on Showtime sometime soon. Until next time!