Recently we were introduced to fellow MMA fan, Ruby Valadez and were awed by her story. Ruby is a single mother of four children. Her youngest daughter was born with Congenital Hydrocephalus, which is a buildup of excess cerebrospinal fluid in the brain at birth. As a result, she suffers from a variety of ailments including respiratory distress, diabetes, blindness and epileptic seizures. We invited Ruby to share her story and tell us what keeps her going. She’s truly a remarkable person with a great heart and courage to spare. Check it out:

First of all, what is your daughter’s name and how old is she?
Yanni Pilar Valadez. I originally named her Yanni Love at the hospital. But when they transported her to Driscoll Children’s Hospital I changed it to Yanni Pilar. My Aunt Felipa begged me to make her middle name Pilar cause she knew that Yanni would be the pillar of my family. And she was right.

One time I was sitting by myself during a funeral. My Uncle Joe came to me and placed his hand on my shoulder. He then said, “How you doin’ Ruby? You know, you’re gonna’ have another child and this ones gonna’ change your life.” Then he walked away. It was very random. He had no idea I was pregnant. When they told me the child I was holding in my womb was brainless and would die as soon as it hit air, the first thing that came to my head were the words of Uncle Joe. So I allowed my aunt to name her Pilar.

When did you first learn of your daughter’s disability?
I was 7-months pregnant when I got my first sonogram. As soon as the doctor saw the fetus (I still didn’t know the sex) he nonchalantly said, “You’re child doesn’t have a brain. I’m sorry ma’am. It will not survive, once the fetus touches air it will die. If you’d like I can refer you to a specialist but I can deliver it here no problem.”

I accepted what the moronic doctor had originally told me and was just…lost. However, I visited a specialist and things started looking up. The specialist said my child may have a chance. She showed my mom the sonogram and explained how Yanni has a very tiny brain that seems to have been smushed by the water. But once the fluid is drained from her head, it will expand a little.

I still didn’t want to hold on to any hope though. So, less than one month after the visit, I had Yanni cut out of me. I didn’t want to see her. I made the doctor promise they would stay quiet and not show her to me. I was scared to hold on. There were about 15 people in the operating room and as soon as she came out they all said, “OMG she’s beautiful.” “Look at her eyelashes, they're so long.” “Check out her dimples!” Eventually they asked if I wanted to see her. I said “No. Please just take her.” They then said, “But ma'am she’s breathing on her own. She looks normal!” I said “What?” “She’s breathing and she’s symmetrical” they responded. “What? No, please just take her.”

I still didn’t want to hold on. So they got her ready and asked one last time, “Ma’am, please take a look at your daughter.” So I did. And I cried. I said, “She looks normal! She’s breathing on her own. God, tell me something….please!”

At that point I realized God didn’t need to tell me anything. He was showing me. Miracles can happen. That was Day 1 of the rest of my life. 

How did that affect you?
So many emotions ran through me. At first I blamed myself. A mother will always blame herself. Even though doctors told me time and time again there was nothing I did or didn’t do to cause Yanni’s ailment. When they first told me Yanni was brainless, I fell into a massive depression.  I locked myself in a room at my mom’s house and just laid there and cried. I couldn’t face anyone, not even my children. Even after having her I couldn’t understand. I hurt because I put her through this. She’s the way she is because of me. But now I see things in a different perspective. I was the lucky one who was chosen to give birth to this gift. I’m truly blessed with my own personal angel to guide me through life. There is no point dwelling over the past or wondering what might have been. I have never seen her as a burden only a blessing. She’s opened my eyes to a whole new world. 

It’s tough at times. I just cry and cry. But then I count my blessings. She’s still with me and that’s all that matters. I stay at my mom’s a lot because I’m terrified of not being able to hear her cough in the middle of the night. Yanni has to be watched 24/7NO JOKE! My dad helps me a lot through out the night. He’s so cute. He’s scared to watch her but will sit next to me while I hold her so I can sleep.

You have three other children, correct?
I have two mommas boys and a two little divas! Their names are Nathaniel Malik Garcia, Neven Justice Garcia, Ysatis Lauryn Garcia and Yanni Pilar Valadez. Yanni is the only one who has my last name.

How are your other kids with Yanni? Do they look up to her as much as you do?
My kids ADORE her! I’ve raised my kids to see everyone the same. I’ve taught them that regardless of age, race, gender or size, we’re all brothers and sisters in God’s eyes. My kids help me a lot and they understand that sometimes there are things we just can’t all do together, but we’ve all adjusted. My kids are in no way embarrassed by her. I, on the other hand, am appalled by how naive some adults can be. They’ll just stare at her. And not just any stare. I mean the type of stare that will cause them to trip over things because they are in a zone! Going to the mall with Yanni is always difficult. There’s a lot of stimulation for her and it causes seizures. One time Yanni went into a seizure we had never experienced. I rushed her to the emergency room, but didn’t have anyone to help me, so my son held her while we rushed her in. He was crying and talking to her, trying to help her get through it. She wasn’t breathing. She was foaming at the mouth and all. He did an amazing job. It hurt me so much that he had to see her that way. He will never forget that experience.

I imagine it is very tough on you at times. What gives you the strength to keep going?
My kids are what give me strength. I live for them. Yanni is my rock. Honestly, I think this is the hardest question to answer. I don’t know how to open up without breaking down. I’ve been through one crazy journey. However, I enjoy telling my stories to help others overcome obstacles.

But in truth I’m scared out of my mind! I’m so use to people commending me for being able to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders as a single parent of fourone of whom is disabled. I sometimes wonder if they know how weak I really am at times.

Are you married? If not, is your daughter’s father in the picture?
I never got married...thank heavens! My children’s father has never really helped at all. He walked in and out of my life at his convenience. I was so young and naive. A lot of people don’t know this, not even my mother, but I was physically and verbally abused. I remember the last time as if it was yesterday. And sadly, my oldest son remembers as well. I’ve tried to brainwash him into thinking it was a dream, but it didn’t work.

Anyhow, it was always about what I was doing, where I was, when I was coming back. He NEVER asked about the kids. He’s never helped with Yanni. Never even managed to make a phone call. However, I forgive him for my kid’s sake. I believe in second chances. The day you turn your back on someone may turn out to be the day he/she decides to turn his/her life around.

What helps you keep going when times get rough?
Sports have always been my therapy. Going to the batting cages is a great stress reliever. Since I try to be Wonder Woman all the time, sports are my mommy time. I’ve always watched boxing, MMA and wrestling but never appreciated them until this year.

My friend, Franchesca invited me to Vegas for the UFC 100 weekend and I invited my friends Erica, Edna and Eddie along as well. Eddie took me to Mandalay Bay during the UFC FAN EXPO and started telling me details about the sport. That’s where it all began! We met Vitor Belfort (my favorite fighter EVER!) We also saw Stitch, Matt Hughes and John Hackleman. They were all great, but Vitor was amazing! His aura screams spirituality and positivity. He represents all who have fought to overcome obstacles in life, all who have fought to triumph over any type of adversity. He represents all that and more.

MMA has really saved me this year. When I got back from Vegas, I went crazy. I needed to know every little detail about MMA and the UFC organization. I watched video after video. Read bio after bio until I was up to date with it all.

Thank heavens for Twitter! I’ve met some of the most unique fans in MMA and can keep up with all the amazing talent. @TapouT_Crooklyn (Stephie Daniels from TapouT Radio) and @vitorbelfort happened to message me on my lowest day. (Talk about a spirit lifter!)

God must have sent Stephie Daniels to help me because it turns out she was a nurse who specialized in special needs cases. Connecting with someone who knew exactly what I was going through was very uplifting. She’s been an angel.

I’ve been able to connect with so many significant people especially people like Stephie, and the BORN STRONGER fam. Y’all have been my comfort and sanity. Sometimes it takes the help of total strangers to recognize your strength and to recognize that we are all BORN STRONGER. Your blogs are so uplifting. Knowing I’m not the only one fighting to overcome obstacles is great.

Are there any charities you want to mention that could help out your daughter and/or those like her?
Easter Seals of the Rio Grande Valley is a charity that helps kids with disabilities learn to live in a normal environment. Early Childhood intervention Rio Grande Valley, Commission of the Blind Services of the Rio Grande Valley are other services that I am thankful for.

I work for an amazing company in Texas. HEB Grocery Retail. They support all that I do whether I’m representing them or not. They allow me to be involved with many different events as part of my job as well.

Anything else you want to mention?
Mark my words: One day I will see a live MMA event. I’m a single mom of four so financially it’s hard to participate in all the MMA action.  I also live way in south Texas where absolutely nothing happens. But where there’s a will there’s a way. One day you will see me and Yanni in the front row facing the Octagon with Dana White saying, “DREAMS DO COME TRUE!”